Becoming a Top Level Leader: Developing Self-Awareness – Part 2
Highly effective executives are not automatons who simply do do do. For example, recently a CEO coaching client of mine said that he just started to realize that when he was anxious he has a tendency to increase the amount of questions he asks his subordinates about their progress towards meeting their goals. He hadn’t realized that his “give me all the details” questions were his way of managing (reducing) his anxiety. Once he realized that, we worked out some other more effective ways for him to deal with his anxiety. He learned how to calm himself in a way that didn’t burden his direct reports. Net result, he backed off of his employees and they were able to get their jobs done…much better. Plus…they stopped accusing him of “micro-managing.”
Self-awareness leads to understanding the real issues or root causes, which enables effective responses, rather than ineffective reactions. In fact, the more self-aware you are and the more adept you become at understanding and managing your emotions, the better able you will be to respond both tactically and strategically.
How? Think ABC (my thanks to the late Albert Ellis, Ph.D.,, and other cognitive psychologists).
A = something that happens, an event.
B = your interpretation of what happened (the why behind what happened).
C = your reactions (emotionally, etc.).
B (not A) determines C.
Our interpretations of what happens to us determine to a great degree our emotional reactions and our subsequent behavior. Becoming more self-aware can help you understand your typical interpretation of events. Once you understand your typical interpretation you can decide if it is a useful (functional) interpretation. Or, as Dr. Phil would say, “Is it working for you?” If, for example, you end up feeling anxious or angry, then you might want to challenge your interpretations and try other, hopefully more rational or functional interpretations.
Research has shown that optimistic peoples’ interpretations of events tend to be more positive no matter what the circumstances. Optimistic people interpret the world as being half full. For example, as one CFO client of mine who became a CEO told me, “We have it good here (in the U.S.), what do we have to complain about? I’ve been all over the world and I wouldn’t trade our problems for anyone else’s.” So for him, when things go sideways (A) he tells himself (B) that “it could be worse,” and (C) as a result he remains calm and optimistic, which allows him to think and act more strategically and creatively.
Becoming more self-aware and learning how to challenge your less effective interpretations is hard because…the catch 22…it takes self-awareness. That’s why trying to change thinking patterns and behavior is virtually impossible to do on one’s own. “Even the sharpest of knives can not scrape its own handle,” I once heard a famous Jazz musician say. We need accurate feedback to become aware of our dysfunctional patterns and we need to practice developing and using alternative interpretations. We can only change our thought patterns and behavior through burning new thoughts and experiences into our memory through experience (practice). Good intentions and New Year’s resolutions burn nothing.
Developing alternative interpretations is a challenge because it can be provocative. You may feel uncomfortable at first. Level 5 Leaders do not surround themselves with clones who just parrot the party line. It’s been my experience that high performing executives are well-rounded, usually quite erudite and are able to mix it up with you. Conversations with them feel more like a fun game of tennis or basketball with an A player. Volleys and passes come at you hard but they like them returned just as hard. So, if you want to develop self-awareness…put yourself into situations where you will be challenged in your thinking. Don’t go just where it is comfortable. Become an active learner. Ask for constructive feedback. Challenge yourself.
At the beginning I said I would outline five “preliminary” steps to become a Level 5 leader. Collins stated that he didn’t want to “trivialize” the concept by attempting to outline a “10-step list” to become a Level 5 leader. He also has not been trained in helping people become high-performance leaders. I don’t want to trivialize it either however…as in most things that we do there are always steps one can take to develop a skill. There really can be no excuse for not working at it if you want to play at the top of your game. Leadership is an art and a skill that can be learned but, it takes commitment and practice and more than five preliminary steps.
